Tuesday, January 14, 2014


I would say it wasn't because I didn't do it. I think it was more the rejection itself; the word no. And I understand your anger, I do. If it was the other way around, I know for a fact you wouldn't say no, not in a million years. But that's just how you are, you put everybody else before you without complaining; you are loyal, the most loyal person I've ever met. And that is one of the (if not the biggest) reasons I fell in love with you in the first place. 

I. Am. Sorry.

I'm sorry I'm not like you, I'm sorry if I tend to be selfish it the worst moments - the ones you need me not to be. I'm sorry you have faced some hard times lately. But you also need to understand how hard it is for me too. It's all new to me, wavering between your problems and my own hardships. And I know it won't get easier once I leave... My biggest fear? That I won't seen it coming, that you'll get better at hiding it just because I happen to be miles away. And it hurts, it hurts knowing you might be hiding stuff deep inside, just because of how selfless you are, when I need you to trust me. Your problems became my problems also when we decided to become "us" instead of just "me and you". Your pain is my pain, and your happiness will make me happy too. That's how it works, it's a mutual agreement, one you signed on the dotted line with a kiss and a mute request for me to be yours. 

So stop acting like you must suffer all the pains and sorrows of the world on your own. Because you have not. And if you let me carry half the burden, the journey will be so much easier... 

~Andie Maars

Hello dear readers :D
Another kind of dark.. something. I feel my system will crush sometime soon if all this negativity doesn't go away soon. I'll try to stop by more often., hopefully with some happier contents.  
I hope you'll have an awesome 2014 :D 
(Hope you understand how I feel now my dear)