Flying Forgiveness (Home is Where You Are)

I was dreading the very same moment I had been counting down to ever since you booked your flight.  For the first time, the future, the not knowing what was going to happen, terrified me; and I had never been so scared. The fear, the guilt, the sadness had been eating my insides in the previous days and I was reaching that stage where I could almost ignore it; almost.

But that day, during the entire trip to the airport, that’s when they stroke the most. My hands were shaking, my lungs felt constricted, and those fears were viciously eating whatever I still had left of a heart. Then, when the bus arrived to the destination and the doors opened for me to exit, I knew, I knew it at that very moment that if you didn’t find it in yourself to forgive me I’d drown; and this time, I wouldn’t be strong enough to fight the waves.

So I waited. I waited for your flight to land and for you to come out. I waited for my future, to know if I still had one with you.

When you showed up at last, the first thing you did was hold me in your arms and your warmth, the one I had been needing for so long, allowed me to put aside all my fears and just relish in the fact that you were there, finally. While I was in your arms there was no more fighting, no more arguing, no more struggling to go through another day alone, I felt safe. I was home. 

hanging by a thread | by ~AndieMaars | On DeviantART

~Andie Maars

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Hello dear readers

More deep thoughts, not so happy feelings and happy endings.
Although I'm already in peace with myself and everything turned out the way I wanted (but not deserved), I had to take this words out of my mind. Hope you liked it.