While I'm sleeping I review every single mistake I made, every missteps I took... I see all my pains but I don't feel them; I'm cured.
But then i open my eyes and all the pain strikes again and I return to be that fragmented being I was before falling asleep. I take deep breath and push away the "duvet of illusions"; no matter how hard I wish for the opposite, I'm not ok. But I pick up the pieces and I keep living my day.
But during the whole day I find myself supporting the weight of all the pieces that were broken; like a hidden strength that keeps me whole and yet fragmented. So everyday are a constant fight to gather together all the pieces that are missing.
In a bad day, I return home still fragmented and sometimes the pain increases. But in the good days, for few moments I feel... like I achieved the goal, I return one piece to its place, that I'm an inch close to freedom, that the weight it's not that much and the pain it's not that strong.
And everyday, good or bad, I countdown the hours that are left until I can cover myself with the "duvet of illusions" and feel whole again.
duvet by ~NoirFeu
~Sometimes I just wish I could fall asleep forever...~