You were my bright light at the end
of a dark tunnel I had been walking through for a long time; too long. You
brought a smile to a face that never really had a real worthy reason to smile
since...I don't even know when! And for all that, Thank you.
"Good things come to those who wait"
I had heard that sentence being said
millions of times and not once before I had found it fair, hadn’t I already waited
for so long, getting nothing but pain and sorrows. It seemed that only others
could be happy, only others had good reasons to smile and something to
expect...and I would just stand there feeling lost, like I didn't actually
belong although I was a part of it. You changed that, too.
Every day I learn something new with
you, and every day you bring new feelings to my heart, and although I welcome
those feelings, I can't help to feel somehow scared because I can't fully
understand most of it. And when you look at me, I feel...loved. And that seems
unrealistic because I don't believe being worthy of that; I can't find anything
in me that could possibly make you want to stay. You can call it stupidity, I
call it insecurity. The insecurities of someone who never felt loved back.
Sometimes things happen too fast and
I need to take a step back and a deep breath so I won't freak out. But fear
nothing and don't think for a second that I regret having you. No matter how
scared I might sometimes look, or what happens in the future, I know for sure
you are and will always be something important to me; and I'll never regret
that, you.
I'm sorry. I
feel the need to apologize for all the words I can't say and should. It's
something the heart feels but the mouth can't say...But I'll get there,
eventually; make it a promise, I swear it will come the day when I’ll be
finally able to let you know all you mean to me. For the time being know I feel
the exact same, if not stronger. I hope that's enough, for you, for now.
Extremely happy to have you and tremendously
thankful for the day you walked in; terribly terrified with the possibility you
might someday walk away...because, honestly, I can't imagine life without you
(no matter how cheesy that may sound).
Even if sometimes understand you is harder than understanding "Lusíadas", hope you know now.
[Updated 25.11.2012 - I think I'm happy with it now, but any suggestion is welcomed]
