You

You were my bright light at the end of a dark tunnel I had been walking through for a long time; too long. You brought a smile to a face that never really had a real worthy reason to smile since...I don't even know when! And for all that, Thank you.

"Good things come to those who wait"

I had heard that sentence being said millions of times and not once before I had found it fair, hadn’t I already waited for so long, getting nothing but pain and sorrows. It seemed that only others could be happy, only others had good reasons to smile and something to expect...and I would just stand there feeling lost, like I didn't actually belong although I was a part of it. You changed that, too.

Every day I learn something new with you, and every day you bring new feelings to my heart, and although I welcome those feelings, I can't help to feel somehow scared because I can't fully understand most of it. And when you look at me, I feel...loved. And that seems unrealistic because I don't believe being worthy of that; I can't find anything in me that could possibly make you want to stay. You can call it stupidity, I call it insecurity. The insecurities of someone who never felt loved back. 

Sometimes things happen too fast and I need to take a step back and a deep breath so I won't freak out. But fear nothing and don't think for a second that I regret having you. No matter how scared I might sometimes look, or what happens in the future, I know for sure you are and will always be something important to me; and I'll never regret that, you.

I'm sorry. I feel the need to apologize for all the words I can't say and should. It's something the heart feels but the mouth can't say...But I'll get there, eventually; make it a promise, I swear it will come the day when I’ll be finally able to let you know all you mean to me. For the time being know I feel the exact same, if not stronger. I hope that's enough, for you, for now.

Extremely happy to have you and tremendously thankful for the day you walked in; terribly terrified with the possibility you might someday walk away...because, honestly, I can't imagine life without you (no matter how cheesy that may sound).

Light | by ~AndieMaars | original On DeviantART

~Andie Fern Maars

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Even if sometimes understand you is harder than understanding "Lusíadas", hope you know now.

[Updated 25.11.2012 - I think I'm happy with it now, but any suggestion is welcomed]

Believe me darling

Believe me darling, I know what you're feeling and I know that is only temporary. Even if now it looks like it's the end of the world. Believe me, it is not. Because one day the tears will eventually dry up, the wounds will heal and the pain will slowly fade away. Because Time is all you need honey. A little or a lot it doesn't matters nor its up to you, but one day you will wake up and notice that the pain is no longer there.

And with time you will also learn to forget, even if now it seems impossible, even if you force yourself to remember, you'll reach the day when you will only remember what is truly important: what you learned and that sometime along that adventure you and him were linked by the same motives, the same feelings. And that's all that matters, nothing else.

Forgiveness is another thing that comes with Time. Although now that looks ridiculous and you only wish for him to suffer the same you do, or even more - knowing that it will probably never happen, because the one who's left behind  always suffers more. But it will come the day you'll wake up and you will no longer hold a grudge against him inside you; even if he never asks for your forgiveness, you're going to forgive him because it just shows how much of a better person you are, were and will ever be - Haven't I told you that countless times darling?

I know that now it seems difficult and possibly humanly impossible but you will get there, as I and so many others before me did.

And who knows, maybe soon you will find someone new - just like I did -, that will make your heart beat faster again? Because with each adventure that ends, there's always another just waiting to start; never forget it my dear.

Remember also that I'm always here, if you need a shoulder where to temporary lay your head...

Believe me, my dear | by ~AndieMaars | On DeviantART

~Andie Fern Maars

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A friendly advice to a special friend, from someone that has been there, returned and found a new beginning. Hope you all like it (: 

She Knows It's Nothing...Isn't It? [Beth]

"It meant nothing. It meant nothing! Nothing..." That was all she keeps thinking every time she had to see him. It was all she could allowed herself to think whenever she talked to him. She couldn't dare to feel it...to feel hope; to feel hopeful, wishing for something she deep inside knew so well it would never happen again. But that didn't stop the dreams at night nor the constant day-dreams she would find herself falling into unintentionally. 

She denied it to anyone that asked. "Nothing happened" or "It means nothing to me", she lost the count of how many asked and how many times she lied. Because if others knew what she felt deep inside, she would be vulnerable in other places rather just in her bedroom when nobody was watching. Because others though she was strong and independent and, honestly, she couldn't take it if everybody started thinking otherwise just because she let her feelings slip for a while in that night; the night that changed it all. And it didn't take long for her life to take a 180º degrees change... One hour. Letting the barriers down for one single hour as all it took for everything to change. 

And she hates it. 

She hates the fact that she let it happen again; that she let herself feel something again. And that could have been nothing if she didn't know that what she allowed herself to feel that night was something she could and wanted to give...but couldn't and wouldn't get back. All because she wasn't good enough; it was always because she was never good enough. She knew it well, so damn well! But still...that doesn't stops her heart of beating a little faster whenever he walks by. 

She feared love like it was a 7-headed monster, but still couldn't help to feel a little attracted by its beauty whenever she would stumble across it. It was curiosity that brought her in in the first place and it was what brought her in this time too. She was curious, and she knew it. She couldn't stand a little mystery without feeling the need to solve it; that was what love meant to her, a huge, deep, ugly mystery she couldn't help to try to solve. Even when she knew there wasn't an answer or simple solution to it. But it shouldn't hurt to try, it shouldn't. 

But it did...and it still does. And she knows that too.

Thiner than thread | by ~AndieMaars | On DeviantART

~Andie Fern Maars

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I decided to try something different this time...Please let me know what you think about this one. I'll be posting "sequels" to this one in the near future, so keep checking back for more :)

(Mis)Communication

Have you ever wondered which hurts the most: 

Saying something and wishing you hadn't, or saying nothing and wishing you had?

I read that statement somewhere around the World Wide Web* and it got me thinking...Have I ever felt that way? Hurt by something I haven't said or by something I wish I hadn't? 

Getting really deep into that question I realize I don’t have just one answer. I can find a dozen of them and none of them is simple or easy to verbalize. I could say that its better saying everything you need to say so later on life you won’t need to wonder ‘What if..?’ But what if that something you have to say will most surely change completely your life, or someone else’s, and most surely not for the better? What if you already know what will be the comeback for whatever you want to say? Are you really going to attempt a broken heart? Worse, a broken friendship? Or even worse, both, at the same time? You can call me a drama queen all you want, but I've seen that happen; I've felt the consequences of that. 

Around 60% of what we say doesn't involve words, but gestures and facial/body expressions we do mostly unconsciously.  I can only guess how much information I've missed and how many of my deepest secrets were released unconsciously... 

~Andie Maars

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Hey guys!

First I'd like to apologize for let you without anything new here for a month (I can't actually believe it has been that long, sorry)

Here's another one of my 'Have you ever...' posts :D it's been a while since the last one. So, what do you think? A little feedback would be awesome!!

*Oh, and if you know who wrote that quote in the beginning would you please let me know so I'll give credit to the owner?! Thank you :)

It's not a new text...Sorry

I'm so sorry it's been so long since my last post but I just can't finish any of the new stuff I've started writing . I think I need to take a step back and put my head in order before I post anything again. Please bear with the wait and, hopefully, I'll be back soon with new post for you guys.
In the meanwhile, here's one of my newest pics on DeviantART. And if you have the time, feel free to stop by there to show your support(link under the pic). 

                                                                             Dry| by ~AndieMaars | On DeviantART My Gallery on Deviantart Love, Andie.