Forever and a day...

Have you ever wanted to give up, of everything? Have you ever felt that if you disappeared, nobody would miss you? Have you ever felt life doesn't make sense and that you must be the most unlucky person on Earth because nobody loves you?

Every day you wake up and you get ready for another day of work. On the streets, you pass by a lot of people. Nothing unusual, it's a perfectly regular day, as all the other days of the week.

But have you ever felt jealous of all the happy people you pass by? Those awkward moments when you see those perfectly happy people and you wish you could have a piece of that happiness too... Those moments when you feel you're not loved enough, no matter how hard you try.

Or when you know you're loved, but somehow you can't love back the same way. And then you hate yourself because all you want is right there, across the bridge of a 'yes' and you can't cross it, you can't say it. And you realize you hate yourself even more because you are hurting yourself and the person you can't love. So you think you didn't born worthy of being loved...

Life is weird, so maybe you're right, maybe you're not... I've no idea, I'm just human.

~Andie Maars

[And then I realize that there's really no connection between the title and the text...Anyway, enjoy]

Vicious Cycle

Have you ever had in your life a person you can't hate, no matter how hard you try, no matter how bad you got hurt? Have you ever lived through that vicious cycle when you get hurt and later you get angry but then find out you don't really hate the person? A person that can even pretend you don’t exist anymore and you still don’t hate him/her?

You try not to care, to pretend he/she doesn't exist too, but in vain; nothing works and you just can’t exclude that person from your life, no matter how little his/her role is.

And you keep trying, over and over again...but although you keep trying, you know you're wasting time and brain cells. Because he/she it's one of the people that left a mark in you, in your life, and you can't erase it because now is a part of you and of who you are; and nobody wishes to be less, right?

So you give up, you keep getting hurt, you keep getting mad and you keep forgiving; because there's nothing left to do. You just hope someday will hurt a little bit less; enough for you to ignore it and keep living.

'Trust the sun will always shine, when you have nothing else to trust in' AndieMaars

photo by Kevin Day

By Andie Fern Maars

Never Forgotten..

There are people who leave a mark; good or bad, but anyway irreversible. For a moment, a word, a hug, a tear or even a smile ... They made us fear something, or like something that we never expected to like. Opened our eyes, even for what was right ahead. Shown us a little of them and ourselves...

Gave us strength, or took a bit of our with them. Shared tears and smiles. Created memories and ideas that we know we’ll never forget because with them we become a little more than we were before. Some stay; others go – sometimes so quickly that we don’t have the time to ask: 'Where did they go?’. The time can pass, the world can give a few more laps and certain things can actually change, because nothing is permanent. But those who left mark will never be forgotten...

[no dead person inspired this text; i focus only on the living ones]

By: Andie F . Maars

Wish

Have you ever wish what you could never get?

I hope that many people in this world can have what they wish for, and I’m not talking about a present from Santa (I mean a toy, a car…). In this world there are the ones who wish for objects, things that after some time have no single value, and there are ‘the others’.

‘The others’ only care about a single drop of water. A little bit of food: meat, fish, fruit... Or even a smile to know that you care, that you acknowledge their existence. They care less if you have a BMW or another fancy car or even if you live in a house with a pool in it, the only thing that they want is a signal that says “I’m happy that you were born”. That signal can be a genuine smile (if it’s a fake one you can keep it to yourself), a handshake, a kiss, a “Hi” on the street, it can be so many things that neither you nor I can even begin to imagine. ‘The others’ are people just like us, their human beings just like you and me. And you can find them were you less expects: in a friend, on a classmate, inside your own family, in your workplace, in the street. Everywhere. Anywhere. It can be you or even me. You cannot guess.

A wish is something you desire. And everyone desires to be known, and I don’t mean around the world, but by the people they love the most. So when you meet that person, or if you know already who it is, send them a signal, a message that says “I love you too”. That is better that some other present that you can give because the objects don’t bring meanings with them but the gestures shown what is in your heart. And the best part is that you don’t have to wait until midnight on Christmas, until Easter or until their birthday to give it to them, you can and should give it right now.

So why did I ask if I ever wish what I couldn’t get?

I did ask that in the beginning and I hope that you already know the answer because if you don’t just look deeply in your hearts and ask yourself if you were ever truly loved and if ever loved somebody or if you just give objects that money can buy or if they hand it (the object) to you for some reason: to stop you from crying, for being late, because they promise you something and never did it.

Wish is hope; and if wish for something, sooner or later it will be realized.

So prey really hard because you can attract what you want.

Lily Mead Mein