It's Christmas time! Normally that is a synonym of happiness and joy, of giving and receiving. Happy times. But not for you, not really.
For you, Christmas is just a remainder that last year around this time your thoughts weren't that bright. In fact, they were so dark they led you to almost doing something dreadful, and I can only be grateful for whatever reason made you change your mind at the last second.
But that is not what really scares me the most. Yes, you tried, and it frightens me to think whether you will attempt that again... What really scares me the most is that I was there - not physically, but there. I was there and didn't see that coming; I didn't notice your mind was clouded with such dark thoughts. And it makes me wonder if I was that absently or if you were just really good at hiding it. Honestly, I don't know which is worst.
I'd like to say I did better this year, better at spotting whenever you're mad or upset. Then again, to what extent do you let me see it? How much are you hiding?
I'll probably never fully understand you nor what led you to attempt that, but I swear I'll try my hardest to be there for you whenever you need me - even if you don't ask for help.
I just hope this year I've given you enough reasons to brighten up your mind... and make you stay.
It Feels Like Christmas | by - AndieMaars | On DeviantART
Hello fellow readers :D
I know, it's kind of dark for such a jolly season, but I needed to get it out of my system or I'd go nuts.
Happy Holidays and I hope you have an awesome 2014 :D