Sunday, April 2, 2017

raw, unfiltered truth.

The last few months have been a roller coaster of emotions I've had a hard time dealing with. Here's why.

Try as I may, there is no way around the fact that I felt out of love with the person I was once committed to love for a lifetime (yes, the same that promised not to brake my heart and ended up doing just that).

I wish I could say it was just because of one big thing, that there was one set reason why - like getting your heart broken. But that is not the truth. It is never that simple.

The truth lies somewhere between all the little things we spend half the time ignoring, and the other half worshipping. Things that on their own are petty and meaningless, but together have the power to brake the deepest and strongest of bonds.

Our bond hadn't been strong for a long time. And, in Ed Sheeran's fashion, crumbled like pastries.

The truth lies somewhere in the fact that we grew apart for too long to still know how to do so together. Like two lines that were forced to run parallel to each other and now can never cross paths again.

I don't know what the real truth is anymore...

So I walk alone once more. But then again, there is this little voice inside me whispering that, perhaps, I've been doing just that for a while.


Thursday, January 19, 2017

Thank You 2016

We did it, we survived 2016. And as the new year slowly takes it course, I feel the need to think back about all that happened. I can say with 100% of certainty that 2016 felt like the longest year of my life. But even with all the ups and downs, twists and turns, I can't be anything but grateful. 

2016 was a year where I not only fulfilled my quota of growing old, but had my fair share of growing up too. A year of transformations, mental and physical. A year with new mistakes made and past ones fixed (or in the mending). A year of another round of figuring out the people I can really count on; it shouldn't surprise me just how much shorter that list keeps getting year after year. But alas, the shorter the "list" gets, the more my fear of ending up lonely and friendless grows.  

A year of travels and adventures - although maybe not as many as I would have wished for -, and a promise set it stone to have more adventures, to make more memories, to take more photographs.

A promise to let loose and lose some fears. To try new things, to meet new places, to see the world through different angles. Above all, to never, ever, stop appreciating the fact that I'm alive! Is it hard? Absolutely! But I don't reckon it'd be half as rewarding without some hardships.

This past year wasn't easy at all. I like to say I entered 2016 with the wrong foot,  angry, condemning it to failure before it even had really begun. But everything made me stronger, more resilient, braver...and just for that, it was already worth it all. I believe I've made my peace with it and I'm ready for whatever might come next.

Now onward to 2017! 

2016...Random Mode | Andie Maars

Happy New Year (can I still say that?!?),

Better late than ever, right?