Sunday, May 13, 2012

Truth

What does it means to you, telling someone they're important, that they matter? 

To me that would mean they've "earned" enough privilege to actually be a part of my life: to belong to it, to deserve to know about it, about everything significant that might happen; not to just be there hanging around. That they would be trustworthy enough to know all the truth, not just some pretty pieces of it. The whole truth, even if is not that pretty, even if you think is so dark it might stain some part of their lives, of their souls. If they're trustworthy, if they care, they deserve to know; they are worthy of the true.

And the truth can hurt. Oh, and how well I know about that dark part of the truth; I've been there, a lot during the past years. But I regret nothing, I don't regret the pain nor the tears because if I still lived in a lie it would be so much worse; I know because I've also been there.

I thought that, by now, things would be...different. That, after all this years standing by you, I'd already be trustworthy. But I guess I was wrong, you don't trust me, at least not enough. And I don't know what more to do, what more to say to change that.

And you know what hurts the most? Is knowing you hide something but still feeling you've the right to tell me by your own accord, so I won't force the truth out of your mouth. No matter how bad I wish I could, I won't; no matter how bad I wish I could open a little window to your mind and discover everything I know you're hiding, I can't.

So that leaves me with just one question: Can I trust in you, knowing you don't trust me?

White Lies | by Andie Maars | on DeviantART 
~Andie

I've been feeling...confused? I guess you can call it that. It's sad knowing a friend you've kept for so many years suddenly stopped trusting fully like it used to do.  And there isn't much you can do about it... Any advice people?