Friday, November 23, 2012

You


You were my bright light at the end of a dark tunnel I had been walking through for a long time; too long. You brought a smile to a face that never really had a real worthy reason to smile since...I don't even know when! And for all that, Thank you.

"Good things come to those who wait"

I had heard that sentence being said millions of times and not once before I had found it fair, hadn’t I already waited for so long, getting nothing but pain and sorrows. It seemed that only others could be happy, only others had good reasons to smile and something to expect...and I would just stand there feeling lost, like I didn't actually belong although I was a part of it. You changed that, too.

Every day I learn something new with you, and every day you bring new feelings to my heart, and although I welcome those feelings, I can't help to feel somehow scared because I can't fully understand most of it. And when you look at me, I feel...loved. And that seems unrealistic because I don't believe being worthy of that; I can't find anything in me that could possibly make you want to stay. You can call it stupidity, I call it insecurity. The insecurities of someone who never felt loved back. 

Sometimes things happen too fast and I need to take a step back and a deep breath so I won't freak out. But fear nothing and don't think for a second that I regret having you. No matter how scared I might sometimes look, or what happens in the future, I know for sure you are and will always be something important to me; and I'll never regret that, you.

I'm sorry. I feel the need to apologize for all the words I can't say and should. It's something the heart feels but the mouth can't say...But I'll get there, eventually; make it a promise, I swear it will come the day when I’ll be finally able to let you know all you mean to me. For the time being know I feel the exact same, if not stronger. I hope that's enough, for you, for now.

Extremely happy to have you and tremendously thankful for the day you walked in; terribly terrified with the possibility you might someday walk away...because, honestly, I can't imagine life without you (no matter how cheesy that may sound).

Light | by ~AndieMaars | original On DeviantART


~Andie Fern Maars

Even if sometimes understand you is harder than understanding "Lusíadas", hope you know now.
[Updated 25.11.2012 - I think I'm happy with it now, but any suggestion is welcomed]