Friday, February 13, 2015

(Not) Sleeping [Beth]

She never said it would be easy, and never thought that either. But why it had to be so hard she did not know. And although this time around it wasn't anything serious, she wondered why it was affecting her this much.

Falling asleep had always been something she did effortlessly, and had been that way ever since she remembered she existed. So why now? Why something so petty had her turning over and over in her bed up till late at night (or better saying, early in the morning) until the exhaustion took over... Her mind had never been so full. The same disturbing thoughts swirling around all night long: Was the end near? Could she keep going? And was what she had enough to do so? It was time to reevaluate everything. The highs and the lows, the goods and the bad, the smiles and the tears. How much of each had her had... Was there enough of each to keep it balanced? She wasn't sure, not anymore.

He kept telling her to let it go; to forget the past and focus only on what was still to come. And she did, most of the time; until he'd do something that would bring back the memories of what could have been the end; death. To think it had been that close... such a dark place near such a pure person can never turn into something good. And although he said it wouldn't happen again, she wondered how true that would be, or for how long it would remain so.

- Andie