Thursday, February 17, 2011

S

[I thought of a different thing to post after Lilly... But since she decided to write about dreams I'm going to follow the same topic but in a different way. Hope you like it.]

Sometimes, however unconsciously, I feel my mind wandering until that Wednesday night; I see me going up the stairs and into the dark room. But you’re no longer there by my side. It’s just me, a bad movie and a chair where I feel comfortable for the first time.
Sometimes I find myself dreaming about that place where we were once together, but I can’t find you there either. If the mind despairs, I look even deeper into the metaphorical drawer of memories and find you in times when you still meant nothing to me. I see this as a victory; you no longer follow me in my dreams as you used to. I feel… strangely free, lighter. I don’t feel haunted by you anymore, by your absent presence.
If I can’t talk with you, in my dream, I wake up a little sad; after all, we’re still friends… But I can’t find anxiety in the hole you left anymore. That bitterness, that discomfort, that pinch in my heart is gone! You still make me laugh, but the tears that fall no longer fall for you.

Andie Fern Maars