A girl's life

Fighting to find life. Fighting to find a meaning. Every day is a battle against destiny. The pain, the suffering of losing someone affects me more than it should, and then it comes the nonstop crying that doesn’t let me sleep at night and suffocates me at morning, afternoon and evening.

When the storm past, I rely on my precious friend that some way or another hold my hand until I’m able to walk on my own again, there I find happiness after losing an important part of me. Because friends are as important as breathing to survive, so if I’m betrayed by them it would feel like a knife piercing through my heart and letting him bleed until there is no more drops of blood left.

After that I grow up, I became stronger, I will not stay behind so just let me fight to show everyone what I’m capable of, let me create my own world because life is much more fun when we have little control over her.

Lily Mead Mein

Soul mate

We always look for someone that understands us, for our lost part, for our special person. It usually is a guy or a girl, women or men, which fills our standards of the perfect mate.

“I’m looking for a guy that is 1m70cm, at least, with short or medium hair, blue or green eyes (if that can be possible) and dark skin” and then just put your number and address.

It would be wonderful if things work out great just by putting an ad in the newspaper and after a few days you hear a knock at the door and voilà your “special person” is standing in your hall. Amazing isn’t it?

But there is one problem: your soul mate is somebody that complements you (it doesn’t mean that it has to be physically) and actually it can be exciting being near someone that you don’t know deeply because he or she can always surprise you, but there is where the problem resides. That person can even surprise in a good or bad way just like somebody close to you, but the ones that are more connected to us are easily forgiven.

If you want to know if the right person is next to you or maybe not just try to experience living near him or her (like in the same house or just being friends), because someone can be a friend, family, a complete stranger that past you on the street or somebody that is lucky enough to have a chance to spend his/her life next to you now and forever.

Lily Mead Mein
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P.S: sorry for not writing anything latelly, but I had a problem. Lack of ideas. Hope that you enjoy it. 

Mess..

Lately my head has been a mess and, for some stupid reason, I haven't been capable of writing something worth of being posted here [ lame :( ]

So, I leave you a link to one of my previous posts, that kind of express a little of what I might be feeling right now.

Forever and a Day

Hope you enjoy re-reading it :)
(Also hope you're head isn't as messy as mine)

The Art Of Pretending by ~ Nonnetta

~Andie Maars

p.s - Sorry lily, for having monopolize the blog so much lately :)
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Little Note: Just to let you all know that the photo I uploaded with my post Hidden Secrets it's now available on my DeviantART page

I'm... Tired

I'm... Tired.

Tired of writing about pain and loss.

But lately, lately those are the only feelings I've felt; the ones I get to know so well yet against my will. I'm tired of feeling my heart contract itself whenever I do, I dream or I think about something that reminds me about my past.

I'm... Exhausted.

Exhausted of every failed attempts to forget the past; to move on.

But everything around me makes exasperate, because it's so hard and everybody around me seems so happy... Like I'm the only miserable person in the world (even knowing it's completely not true; that, compared with some standards I'm quite lucky). But still... Does it ever get easier? I mean, when will all those efforts be worth it?

I'm...

I'm...

I'm...

I don't know what I feel anymore.

And I'm exhausted and tired of trying to figure it out.

(it's not finished yet, it's just a draft...I might try to finish it later)

Heart by ~ AndieMaars (photomontage)
you can find the original on my DeviantART page here

~A

Some dreams should never come true...

I used to wish that, whenever I had to go to that place, you would have decided to do the same and I’d meet you there. I wished for those little things called coincidences to do their magic. How much I wished for that to happen; and for how long I did it… Looking now backwards I don’t know how I could have ever wished for that. I guess that was just me looking for an excuse not to lose contact; an involuntary effort to keep fighting for you. But you know what? The time went by and somewhere along the way I stopped wishing for that and started wishing for the opposite; that I would never meet you there, where once you made me feel wanted; where you made me happy for a little while.

I used to wish for you to do what you ended up doing anyway. And back then it made me happy, so happy, because it was one dream that had come true. Today, that dream is my worst nightmare against whom I'm still fighting, and I wish now it had never happened because the little joy you gave me was nothing compared to all the pain you caused; because you made me happy, but then you crushed that happiness so quickly that it felt like someone had dropped a bucket full of ice cold water on me. That opened my eyes for what was right ahead and yet I couldn't see until that moment: what happened, it wasn't real, and it meant nothing...it was a mistake, a complete error (no matter how hard and how painful it is to admit it). I built up a fantasy so it wouldn't hurt, I made up in my mind that was something it could honestly never be. My brain lied to my heart, so it wouldn't get broken. It was a useless lie, the heart got broken anyway.

But I learned my lesson: I must not wish for what I know it’s wrong; I must not dream about something that I know it is going to hurt me, if the fantasy turns to reality.

~A dream can easily become your worst nightmare~

~Andie Maars
[Photo + photo-montage + quote ~ by me] 

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Updated Version!!! (06.12.2011)