Wednesday, May 4, 2011


I do what I want. I only care about what I choose. I only choose what I wish for. Pretty selfish, aren't I?
But if I do what other people want me to do without thinking if that’s what I really longing for does that action as any meaning? I don’t think so. So let me choose. Let me pick everything that I want even if I regret it in the end. And if you still aren't capable of letting that happen: advise me, tell me what you think and don’t try mind games or things like that to make me change my mind.
The reason? It’s pretty simple. If I don’t choose by myself I’m not living, I will be a puppet, a lifeless doll that you will control. I will not feel sadness, happiness, love or any other fillings except hate for you and especially for myself because I wasn’t able to say no to you. And even if it’s a mistake it doesn’t matter; don’t they say that you learn from your mistakes. So let me learn by myself.
In the end I’m pretty selfish because I want to live a life in which I will be able to say that I’m not a puppet and that what I am is because I make mistakes and that I was always following my own way. So if that makes me selfish I don’t mind because I'll keep doing whatever I want.

Lily Mead Mein

[Another small text]