Thursday, May 26, 2011

Meaningless words (on a too hot day)...

This week it's not a good week to write, because every single word that comes out seems angry to me... and I just can't find the source of such anger because I don't think I have any reason to feel it.


I really am, thus I get angry with myself because all I can write are angry words without meaning them all. So my question is: Is it possible to have something bugging you, so deep you can't even find it, no matter how hard you try?

Maybe it's just the past I long thought forgotten that decided I need to refresh my memory. But that's a lie, because I need everything but to remember; that's why I forgot it in the first place.
And I repeat it: This week it's not a good week to write anything. I've a really painfully headache and it's too hot everywhere so I can't focus on anything.
And then I realize I'm writing something anyway, even if the entire text sucks and words don't make sense at all... So gloomy...
Looking trough my window I see a bright day and a shinning sun... an almost perfect day... And I can't go outside because my headache would increase even more.
Definitely not a good day to do whatever I need to/want to/should do and definitely not a good week to write.

"If is that what you need, then it's decided. I won't lie. A lie doesn't heal a broken heart and I can't give more than what I am"
[translation of a verse of the song "Se acabou, acabou" (If it's over, then it's over) by Nuno Prata]


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